OK,
before I get started, let me take care of some technical stuff. There
are four links above. The first two are for the same thing. The
second two are for the same thing. Why did I do this? Simple these
are links to great blogs/articles written. The first and third are
the original links. The second and fourth are copies I made in case
the originals get deleted. Please read them before reading my blog
because I will refer to them both.
Marriage
Marriage
today has become such a hot button issue. A godly marriage has pretty
much disappeared. Divorce rates have increased tremendously, and a
few people are trying to take something that does not belong to them
and make it their own, by trying to change the definition, so on and
so forth. But in this blog I am not going to be talking about the
politics going on in the USA. I am not going to be speaking about
anything dealing with politics, I will save that for another time.
Any definitions that I use is the original definitions and not
today's corrupted definitions. Just to let you know that before I
even post definitions I do extensive studies on the words and where
it came from as well as the proper use of words. In one of my future
blogs I will post where the information is located I will even add
links so you can see them for yourself. No I will not talk about
today's politics on marriage. I will be talking about a true godly
marriage. Some of what I say may sound old fashioned, but I will
explain not only why is it that way, but the importance of why it
needs to be that way. A lot of old fashioned male ministers don't
even know why they say what they say when it comes to the roles of
husbands and wives. I will do my best to explain and will use
scripture as well as reassure my female readers that just because I
say things that are old fashioned does not mean that I say it for the
same reasons as other male ministers. In fact I hope to give you a
clear understanding in the power and blessings that you carry in your
role as a wife. So lets begin!
What
is marriage? Well the true clear definition of marriage is: A Holy
Sanctified Union between Man and Woman, founded, and given to us by
God. In other words a holy union between 1 man and 1 woman founded
and given to us as a special gift a special blessing by God that is
separate from the world. Whew!, that was a mouthful. Everything that
God has given us is separate from the world. The world may try to
emulate it, the world may try to insist that it is all the same, but
I assure you that it is completely separate. Everything that God has
founded and instituted on this earth is a reflection of what is in
heaven or what God has in store for the church. Two great examples
are the tabernacle. God told Moses that the tabernacle is a
representation of what is in heaven. Marriage is a representation of
the relationship that God has in store for the church which is why
we, the church, are referred to as the bride of Christ. So for anyone
who tries to take something that belongs to God and makes it worldly,
is committing a great sin towards God. It is the same tactic that
Satan uses to stray people away from God. Taking the true gifts and
commandments of God, and perverting them to lead people astray. First
example of that is when Satan deceived Eve into eating the forbidden
fruit. A godly marriage is a ministry in itself. When a husband and
wife get intimate, and get physical, it is a form of praise and
worship. Now right here is where I have to stop this part because I
will be getting into the political stuff , which is not where I want
to go right now.
In
the 2 articles/blogs that are linked above they are correct. 100%
correct. The only problem I have is that they are both one sided
mainly concentrated on the man. One says that the man has to be this
and the other says this is the way the man has to see it. I agree
with both blogs/articles but I say that it goes both ways. Marriage
is not about ourselves, it is about our spouses. The word love gets
said and twisted a lot. It is used as a noun, a person, place, or
thing. In actuality love is a verb. It is an action. The good
feelings that we get after wards are the result of that action. Well
people have asked me, what do I mean when I say love is an action and
not a feeling. John 3:16 For God so loves the world, that He gave His
only begotten Son, that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish
but have everlasting life. God loves us so much that He gave us Jesus
so that in His name we are forgiven and redeemed. Jesus Himself talks
about agape love. A love so great that you will sacrifice yourself
for another. Those are actions. One of the reasons given as to why
one spouse wants to leave another is, “I just don't love you
anymore.” The truth is they never loved the person. They were
infatuated. If a husband/wife truly loved their spouse they would not
think about themselves. They would think about their spouse. Don't
get me wrong if a husband or wife is truly abusive I know God doesn't
want that for you. They need prayer and counseling. They are not
thinking about their husband or wife they are thinking about
themselves. Other than God we have to constantly put our spouses
before us. God, your spouse, and kids if you have them. It is never
about you.
In the other
article/blog it talks about what a woman has to look for in a man.
That he has to be this and he has to be that. I say again it goes
both ways. Now in the order that God placed things, it is not a
woman's job to look for a husband, it is man's job to look for a
wife. God made Eve for Adam. Abraham sent Eliezer to find Isaac a
wife. Jesus is constantly seeking His bride(church) and has paid the
price for her with His life. In fact the bible says Proverbs 18:22
Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of
the Lord. The things listed in that article is everything that a man
needs to look for when finding a wife. At the same time to my sisters
that are reading while waiting on God to bring you or bring you to
your husband, these are the things that he must be and have. One of
the problems that we have in today's society is broken families or
incomplete families. A father must show his son how to act towards
his future wife, a mother shows her son how a real wife acts so he
will know what to look for. A father shows his daughter how a husband
acts so she knows what to look for, and a mother shows her daughter
how to act towards her future husband. The bible says that the man is
the head of the household and that wives must submit to their
husbands. Both men and women have a problem with that. Men think that
it gives them a reason to treat their wives like garbage and they are
wrong. They used the excuse of because of Eve eating the forbidden
fruit that we are all in sin. Correction, the bible says that we are
born with the sins of Adam. Before the fall Eve was not called Eve,
she was called Adam because they were both the same. They were each
others missing half, and when they came together they become whole.
Needless to say it was not until Adam ate the fruit that the fall of
man happened. He spent more time with God and knew better. There is
no excuse for a man to mistreat his wife. Being head of the household
means it is a mans job to lead the house, teach the house, and
protect the house. The man is the priest of the house under Christ.
Wives have a problem submitting because they think of submission as
slavery. Women are wrong in that thinking. Submission is recognizing
and honoring the authority that God has placed on the man. There is a
poem that I like and I am going to paraphrase it because I don't
remember the whole thing correctly. It states:
The
first woman was created from the rib of a man. She was
not made from his head to top him, nor his feet to be trampled
upon by him, but out of his side to be equal to him, under his
arm to be protected, and near his heart to be loved.
The Bible says that woman is the help mate. God placed man as head to lead, teach,protect, and love.
Other than that a woman is a mans equal. The bible talks about the woman being the weaker of the two
and more or less depending on who you ask it is emotionally and physically. If you take a look into the bible
and history man and woman worked side by side in every aspect. They both looked for food, they both raised
the kids, and even though the man was the head of the household, for the most part they both ran the house and
kept it in order. One of my favorite movies is My Big Fat Greek Wedding. In the movie the mother of the female
lead says. The man is the head but the women, we are the neck. We move the head around. I love that saying
because for the most part it is true. We as men see only one perspective and are ready to charge in head first.
Women can see different perspectives and different options. When both husband and wife have God in the
forefront in making all decisions, nothing can go wrong. Communication is the key. Communication with God and each other.
One of my favorite sayings is:
Behind a good man is a good woman.
OK now to my sisters reading I know what you are saying. NO! BESIDE a good man is a good woman. OK
yes in the physical sense that is true for the woman is equal and walks side by side. I am talking about spiritual.
Marriage is a ministry, and we are in a spiritual battle. Think about an army. The husband is leading the charge.
You are behind him providing cover fire and supporting him. You are his backup. If he gets hurt it is your job to
take the lead while he recovers and provide you with support and cover fire. When he recovers he takes the lead
again giving you time to recover. If you are both side by side heading into the front lines, you are both being fired
upon, you will both get hurt and you lost the battle. It is a constant balance. In a physical battle, a physical war it
is the same thing. The military does not send everyone all at once, no they have lines, one supporting the other
when one falls the next one moves up to let the other recover. At all times in a war in a battle there is always
someone on the front lines and always someone providing cover fire.
One of the problems that we have is male chauvinism and feminism. Because of male chauvinism men think
that they can treat their wives like garbage. Feminism takes the order that God placed for the marriage and
family and turns it around. Both things are wrong. As far as feminism I am not talking about a strong godly
woman who follows God's plan. I am talking about a woman who will not conform to God's plan. My wife
is a strong woman. While we don't agree on a few things but that is normal, but I love the fact that she can
express herself. A true godly marriage keeps God in the forefront and keeps it in the order that he placed.
If we follow the basic principles of keeping a godly marriage, and putting our spouse ahead of us, than we
wouldn't see as many of the problems that we see today. As soon as anyone husband or wife takes God
out of the picture and starts thinking about themselves that is when the problems arise. The husband or wife
will become selfish, will try to find ungodly friends to lie to that will agree with their decisions to act selfishly
and ungodly. Always remember no matter what your spouse does, you must act according to the role God
gave you, you must live godly and be the example even if the example is not wanted. We must remember that
there are 3 people in a marriage. God, the husband, and the wife. Now I am sure that there is a lot more that
can be discussed but I hope that this blog will at least help you get a better understanding.
May God's peace and blessings be with you.
Josue Mercado
